I figured maybe I'd start a WiP thread -- all the cool kids are doing it!
So here's something I'm working on for ConceptArt.org's latest weekly challenge: a redesigned and slightly older Alice who returns to find that Wonderland has gone all post-apocalyptic. I wanted to keep my design very recognizably Alice (mainly John Tenniel's Alice) by hitting some of the trademarks -- flouncy skirt, striped stockings, wavy blonde hair, and the blue-and-white color scheme. But instead of puffy capped sleeves, she's got shoulder guards; her skirt is kevlar panels with chainmail below; and she's wearing combat boots because -- well, they are sexy.
It's a rough sketch so far & needs a lot of refinement, but I thought I'd run it by the keen eyeballs of my fellow IFX regulars for feedback at this early stage. Any suggestions & critiques are welcome!
I figured maybe I'd start a WiP thread -- all the cool kids are doing it!
Nice start, Smolin. But what if you were already cool before starting one? Would one then freeze up!?! ... Only crit I would have right now, is to watch her right hand (the one on the gun) right now it appears her thumb is on the far side, when it should be on front, or closer to the viewer. ...Being I'm at work, I can't zoom in to get a better look. I wasn't sure if what I'm looking at was possibly her index finger on the other side, or thumb? But you might want to take a look at it.
Thanks for the feedback, Dave. I did some more work on this tonight, and paid attention to that thumb, trying to make it read on the correct side of the grip.
I can definitely tell it's Alice at first glance. the "Drink Me" bag is a nice touch. nice costume design as well.
things I think you could work on a bit.
the sky has a nice value and stmosphere, it gets lighter as it goes farther away and toward the horizon...but the ground is doing the opposite.
the way she is stepping makes her look off balance, as she looks as though she is leaning toward her right , but the right leg is behind her and not on the ground...I think she would fall. may be because her hips and legs are facing one way and her torso in twisted toward us.
The chainmail is a great idea!, it is heavy material though and would cling closely to her body and not be puffed out like the skirt.
Her shoulder pad is going back...but her shoulder and arm are going forward, they should line up a bit more.
Nice work, nice vision. your doing well:) Now keep going
You know, older kick-ass "with a twist" versions of classic fairytale/children's book characters are one of my pet hates. Generally it will involve someone taking an underage girl character and making her supposedly "sexy" with guns and skimpy attire, which usually has very little to do with the persona of the character as written in the original story. It's sort of become a genre in itself, and so a lot of people who do it are just following that trend, but I find the underlying idea of sexualizing a character concieved as a minor to be quite creepy.
In any reimaging of a classic character, I think it's okay to tinker around the edges, as long as the core stays true.
Having said that, I actually don't mind what you've done here, as it's been done tastefully and there's a solemn, thoughtful feel to the expression.
Proportions? I like what you've done here but her legs seem too long to fit with the rest of her. Her upper torso also seems to be going a different direction from her lower torso.
Also...just one of my pet peeves with the gun(technical details) and how she's holding it...those things aren't....well... entirely plastic ;)
em... I agree wholeheartedly. Not to say I don't do my share of scantily-clad warrior ladies, but sexualizing a beloved classic heroine is creepy and (more importantly) really weak. I was trying to portray some of Alice's personality traits as they exist in the story -- a somewhat prim and proper young lady, but one who isn't afraid to get a little dirty if her curiosity leads that way. I've seen others that stressed the madness angle, which also seems appropriate, since the story blurs the distinctions between fantasy and reality. But there really isn't a sexual undercurrent in Alice, so injecting it would read cheap and totally random, perhaps even contrary to the actual character. (c.f. Gun-Totin' Gandhi.)
Mugshotpro: Thanks for the feedback. The background is roughed in right now, and hopefully I'll make it read better. The darkness on the horizon was meant to be hills thrown into shadow by the setting sun. I'll work it more. I'll have a serious think about refining the pose, but I kind of liked the slightly stumbling feet: she's a small woman in big combat boots, after all. After reading your post, I'm thinking that the front leg should actually be made straighter, and that her belt should emphasize the tilt of her hips more (e.g. curve the belt up more).
Penabled: I made the legs longer than they were in the initial sketch, and they still look a bit short to me: actually only 3-1/2 heads. But maybe the knees are too high up the leg...? As for the torso/legs directions, people can actually turn at the waist: I've done it myself from time to time! But seriously, perhaps there should be more twist in there -- shifting that abdominal kevlar plate more toward the back might help explain the action.
Theres something a tad off with her left arm, it looks like its bending near the shoulder (maybe its mean to be some styling of the armor), but there is an elbow pad lower down.
mike jasnowski
mjasnowski: Yeah, I see it now. It's almost like she has an extra joint in there. Thanks for pointing it out! Too late to fix for the challenge, but I'll try to correct it anyway. Nick Avallone AngryFungus Art Blog | Sketchbook
I made some adjustments based on the critiques above, and although I could have used more time to finish it up, I submitted it to the challenge. Sadly, after 80+ voters, each of whom can vote for as many as they'd like, it's received a total of one vote. I really thought it was better than that, and certainly better than some that received more votes. So now I'm a deep funk of self-doubt and despair and feeling like everything I do is completely wrong. Sad me.
Anyway, thanks to those who tried to help me make my crap less crappy.
Aw, don't feel sad. I looked at the pictures an votes and I can't make sense of them either... It seems lots of people went for "pretty girl" in spite of the war theme, and a bunch of others seem to have gone for the "busty girl" (which isn't unexpected I suppose, but I remember you and em... discussing the sexualisation of characters who were never meant to be about sexyness in the first place, and personally I rather agree with what you were saying...)
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Looks good Smolin I didn't think it was the best in the contest but I thought it was up there it's only missing some polish. It's not crap man. I love your style. Anyway I gave you some love over at concept art you're up to three now. Still a while to go before the votes over though.
Thanks, guys. You've made me feel much better. Sorry for the whining. I'll try and man up.
I realize my piece isn't top ten or 15 material -- there's some really amazing stuff -- but seeing some other things garner more votes despite being horribly cliched or poorly painted, made me seriously doubt my own sensibilities. I also felt like some really lovely pieces completely missed the point of the challenge. For example, Aly Fell's piece is absolutely gorgeous -- but at the end of the day, it's just the same old Alice, only she's holding a knife. Yawn.
Smolin:
... Only crit I would have right now, is to watch her right hand (the one on the gun) right now it appears her thumb is on the far side, when it should be on front, or closer to the viewer. ...Being I'm at work, I can't zoom in to get a better look. I wasn't sure if what I'm looking at was possibly her index finger on the other side, or thumb? But you might want to take a look at it.
But seriously, perhaps there should be more twist in there -- shifting that abdominal kevlar plate more toward the back might help explain the action.![Sad [:(]](/emoticons/emotion-6.gif)
Re: Smolin's WiPs
