First off I am not writing this for sympathy. It has taken me a long time to decide whether to post this or not but I feel this may help others in a similar position.
With a heavy heart I have decided to defer going to university until september 2010. I feel I am on the verge of something (artisticaly) and feel that if I go to university this september it will take me longer to realise my goal. I also feel that if I decided to go to university this year the decision will have been made out of pride and will not be benifitial for my growth as an artist. My final reason for this is the virus I have is going to take a while to get out of my system.
So no rumors circulate about why I went to hospital I shall spill the reason. I have contracted viral menigitis and apparently the doctors couldn't understand how I was still able to stand (I couldn't understand why I had to stop). Pride got in the way of sorting the problem out as I have had headaches for nearly a fortnight. I was going in to college sick because I was unwilling to listen to my body. I have been on anti viral drugs for 10days and it seems to have done the trick. But I still need plenty of rest.
In some ways I needed this to happen as I have learnt more about myself during this time through helping someone in the cubical next to mine in hospital. I finally figgured what makes me tick.
So why have I said all this? First off for the reason that this kind of finalises my desission and second if anyone else is facing a hard choice to tell them they probably know the ansawer but it isn't the ansawer they wanted. The hard rout tends to be the right one.
Some one wise (well perhaps wise isn't the word 
) told me on DA that I don't need to suffer anymore. Not to sound like an emo but the only was we learn is through the suffering we get through our own trials (atleast in my opinion) Everyone is saying I have alot of potential and I never doubted that but the one thing in my mind that has always held me back is pride. I have taken the first step to resolving that.
OMG that was quite serious for me better lower the tone abit (can't let you lot think im human)
BEWBZ!
THIS BLOG
Comments
kazky said:
bewbz right backatcha,
now maybe you'll stop being such a freak of controllness & do what your body needs & tells you to do.
glad you're ok though hon & please don't ignore those signs again!!
kazky said:
oh and i forgot to say, uni will still be there next time, it's only a year which may sound a long time now, but it goes so fast, first it's sunshine time, then it's leaves falling off trees, then santa time, the snow comes & goes, then you're getting ready to go!
phoenicorn said:
yeah but it's just so bloody frustrating argh.
Also what can I say I am the most stubborn person you will ever meet.
O and before I forget hospital was like carry on film. nothing but innuendo and hot nurses