Not sure if I can split my post on here, but this is a LONG one! :D

Life becomes infinitely MORE hectic once you have kids, I’m convinced. However having YOUNGER kids is nowhere near as crazy as it is when your kids get to be of an age where they’re gone at sporting events every night of the week. I’m not the type of dad who is going to miss TOO many games that my kids play in, I rarely have an excuse to not make a game since I work from home. The wife and I have decided to trade off going to the away games this year for my daughters bball team, simply because I don’t feel like shelling out $10 at away games and subjugating my son to have to travel and sit through the away games as well. The season is roughly half over, but….on the horizon is track season (and having run track and been pretty successful at it, I think I’m going to have to venture out to see how those meets go too) as well as “conditioning” and “training” that my son wants to start for football this coming fall. In addition to the time that the kids want to spend on basketball. I won’t complain, at least not right now when I don’t have any deadlines creeping up on me. My kids are healthy enough and have the DESIRE to go out and play sports, and really, that’s what is the most important I guess.

Been a LONG week in the studio. Wrapping it up by saving out high rez files and getting those uploaded today, and enjoying a semi-day off here. If I can manage it. Going well so far though. One the agenda for the weekend are 2 pages that I have to get colored by Monday, need to help with taxes (which hopefully haven’t become too complicated being self-employed), and I’d like to do some other things over the weekend as well. Need new biz cards designed and printed, need to update my portfolio with new work since it hasn’t been done in MONTHS now. Saturday is going to be an all day bball tournament for my son, so I’m planning on that entire day off as well. more after the cut….

Need to get a few more things done yet before I sit down and get pages uploaded to the server for Take a Chance 4 though. This book has been like a breath of fresh air for me to work on really, because the artwork that Ardian Syaf is going is so stunning. He’s going to go places in the comic industry, I guarantee it. Also, it’s great to actually read the script, it’s a really GOOD story (I’m sure Catie would agree with that assessment) I usually read scripts enough to get what I need from them to do my job, color keys if there are any for characters, time of day settings, things like that. However I’ve been lucky enough the last few months to read some really GOOD stories, by not only Catie, but Dan Wickline, Raven Gregory and Joe Brusha…makes a difference to ME at least, when I get a book in my hands and I actually LIKE the story and not just the artwork.

Landscape studies. What started as a goal to do one landscape study digital painting a day, has obviously fallen off track already. With the way my deadlines creep up on me and with being a family man as well, there are days that I just don’t HAVE an hour to spare. However….I’ve adjusted this goal to now reflect something more attainable. I’d like to complete 200 landscape studies this year by the end of the year. I have roughly 196 to go yet by my count. Wish me luck.

Comics. Been writing and developing some of my own ideas so far this year as well. Not sure where they’ll go, or if I’ll have time to get anything more than just a framework setup for stories that I can come back to a few years down the road and dust them off to get moving on them, but it’s more than I’ve done in the last 5 years so that’s something at least. I’ve been debating the merits of changing the way I approach projects as well, moving towards an online distribution and creation aspect much more, and possibly bringing in a partner to help get some things moving forward. I’ll have to keep you updated on that though, it’s much like being a freelancer in a lot of ways, it’s an always evolving-very fluid process.

Direction. I’m struggling to find direction in my work right now. There are different paths that I think are in front of me still, and I’m still sort of standing around waiting for the wind to blow one way or another and move the crickety little arrow signs in the direction I’m supposed to take. I already KNOW that I won’t be doing what I’m doing right now, just coloring comics, 3 years from now, because I don’t think comics will be around in the capacity they are now in that time. Knowing that is the case I’m trying to figure out what to focus on. Every path you take on the road to being an artist is different, and unfortunately, each one requires a SPECIFIC portfolio of work. I need to be versatile and able to do a bunch of different things, but at the same time, SPECIALIZING is really the best way to get noticed in any one thing. That being the case, it’s almost like you need to have a portfolio for EVERY possible thing that you can do. Which of course, requires a SHITLOAD of work to put together. Nobody is paying you for portfolio pieces, nobody PAYS you to take time off work to get better at anything as a freelancer. You have to work usually twice as hard most times if you want to add a skillset to your artistic arsenal because you can’t justify taking time away from paying work and deadlines.

So on top of all these decision, I’m also factoring into the equation…that my daughter is going to be graduating high school 5 years from now. There are things that I don’t want to miss out on, and things we want to do as a family, before that happens. We don’t get this time in our lives back. There are things that I can do now for my kids, that they will likely remember the rest of their lives as we get older. I don’t want to make sacrifices on their behalf, or my wife’s, just to make money or make myself a better artist. That opportunity will be there forever once the kids have grown up. So…likely I’m talking myself into many more sleepless or nearly sleepless nights here. Because yeah….in 5 years we’ve got a kid likely going to college (and like everyone else in America, we’re basically starting over with retirement and college savings now)

So if you know me, if we talk, email or whatever…and I seem cranky sometimes, it’s not you, it’s not really the way I am, it’s lack of sleep and stressing over things like that which are on my mind. I still like you (unless you’re one of the 3 or 4 people I think is a total ass, in which case you probably aren’t reading my blog anyways) honest.