Warning: Super-long uninteresting personal ramble ahead!!

Ok so I really want to get into the Games industry; it's like my career goal at the moment so I suppose it was fate that landed a huge article on getting into the industry at my local newsagent, covering everything you need to get the job of your dreams..... I recommend you read this if you are looking at this career!!

I was in my magazine store and while I was looking for my IFX mag (still only up to issue 15 here......) I found a magazine that had "How to get a job in the Games Industry" in big words on the cover. I bought it without hesitation, although it was only the one article in the whole magazine that I needed. At least it had pretty graphics in it.... but I don't need the 30 pages of cheat codes for Xbox games; the magazine is "Tips & Tricks, #145 (March 2007)"

I'm going to quote some things from the article.... very interesting:

• "The lead designer is the person who conceives the ideas... everything from information on how the characters look and behave to any backstory, cutscene and mission-based data."
• "It's always a good idea for designers to have a background in programming. Another skill that's useful to a designer is the ability to draw."
• "There are positions for writers... to script cutscenes and sharpen the game's dialogue, [or] screenwriting."
• "In terms of education, the accent at most game development schools is on the technical end of the business. While some institutions offer courses in game design and theory, most of the curriculums are far heavier on programming, 3D art/animation and advanced math."
• "Mastery of 3D art and animation software are two of the primary skills required by today's game development teams... the demand for skilled artists and animators capable of working in a variety of 3D formats is strong."
• "The task of creating the look of a game's world is generally divided between Character Artists and Background Artists... There are, however, many more types of art training and areas of specialty in game development than merely animators and Character/Background Arists. Skills in sculpture, graphic design and photography are among the many categories of potential value to the artistically-inclined would-be developer." 
• "Composers, however, are not nearly so plentiful... while a few musicians have managed to attain celebrity [status], there is still almost no market in the US for game soundtracks. In contrast, Japanese composers are well-known to the Japanese public, who customarily buy CDs of game music from famous franchises such as Final Fantasy."
• "When the design document is complete, the storyboards and character artwork have been submitted and the game is ready to get real, it goes to the programmers (including artists and animators). If you're looking to program at a professional level, you'll need to master several different languages, including C, C++, Windows GUI and 3D graphics."
• "Once a game reaches the point where it can be play-tested (beta stage), the producers hand it off to the game testers at Quality Assurance. Game testing is the classic entry-level position in development since the only qualification is to be an excellent gamer. Testers are encouraged to explore the game fully, to try unexpected and counter-intuitive moves just to see what happens."
• "Once a game has moved to gold status, it is handed off to the people who will attempt to market it. This field includes everything from packaging and design to the individuals who write the press releases."
  

Okay, I think Game Development was a career created specifically for me (either that or I was created specifically for Game Development). However, although I fit so many criteria that I should be able to head in that direction without looking back, I still have a few doubts. 

[Edit: All this is more of a note to myself so it's pretty rambly and repetitive. If you've read this far you must already be bored so feel free to stop reading now before you die of boredom]

THE GOOD 

Since I've been confined to bed for six years, I've become quite the gamer - I even have indepth walkthroughs for every game I've ever played written entirely by memory on my website - and I'm also good at finding bugs and exploiting them to cheat in certain difficult areas. This may be because I know the mechanics of games - I coded and administered 3 morpgs for a little while - being a programmer myself. They say "you'll need to master several different languages, including C, C++, Windows GUI and 3D graphics"...... well I had that down by the time I was 14.

I've also had a lifetime of music; I was just about to sit my grade 8 in piano when I got sick, and I can also play violin, trumpet, trombone, clarinet, and saxophone (I specialise in the strings and brass, my sister specializes in voice and wind; she plays oboe, clarinet, recorder, flute, and pipes) For some reason we also took lessons in African Drumming and I intend to learn the ErHu, GuZheng and DiZi (which my father plays) at some stage in my life. I used these skills and a "recording studio" type thing my sister won in a composition competition to compose my own music since I was about 9 or 10, and went on to writing the soundtracks for various games I was designing in my head.

[Edit: I just noticed how some of this post must look, and no, I'm not trying to show off or anything, I'm just listing the skills I have so I can better compose my argument....]

THE BAD

I'm not the best artist in the world, in fact I have practically zero talent (as you can see if you've been following my blog), but I am sooo eager to learn and I really enjoy drawing even though none of it ever comes out right. But, talent or no, art is a passion of mine (why else would I spend $35 every month for IFX mag ) 

I went on about being a gamer but left out one vital problem, which probably seems minor and silly but seriously I think it could hinder my chances of getting into this industry........ I can't play scary games. Games where I'm rescuing a world of fluffy animals or swordfighting my way to princesses are okay, but games like Silent Hill are just too scary (I also have trouble with japanese movies like The Ring, The Grudge etc).
I also can't drive for sh **, which wipes out any games involving vehicles (in Jak 2 I have the police after me 99% of the time).

Okay, so I'll reiterate everything I've just mentioned by making a checklist of what the magazine suggested

Programming Background
I am fluent in C and C++, I also know C#, Java, VB and the corrosponding .net versions. Most of the software I use is of my own design and I coded three morpgs

 Gaming Skill
Although I'm a fairly okay gamer, I wouldn't say I'm brilliant at gaming.... I mean, I'm not like some of the boys I know who can get through an entire 80 hour game in 60 hours without dying. I also suck at driving-type games and I can't play scary games

Design Experience
I sort of covered this in the "programming" section... most of my job on my games was designing areas, characters, quests and storyline. I also make websites. I have NatColl Certificates in Web Design and Digital Design and Imaging (Print Design).

Artistic Talent
I can draw, but only because I've taught myself. I have no natural talent. I am however trying to learn and I'm tossing up between going to Art School or Engineering School when I'm able to go to Uni.

Writing Ability
I love reading books and have been doing creative writing stories as long as I've been able to write. I had a Wyvern Library on ElfWood and also my MUD was completely text-based so descriptions of everything from what a room looks like to the script the NPCs said was entirely creative writing work.

3D Modelling/Animation
I did a NatColl short course in 3D Animation a few years ago and I've also been modelling stupid things for a few years. However, I've never done anything very good on either side - my best model being made entirely out of cylinders and spheres and my best animation consisting of a fairy flapping her wings. I suck at texturing because I can't paint very well.

Beta Testing
As administrator, I always had a "player character" to test out areas before I put them ingame, and this character had no lordly benefits (although I could switch to admin to check the code if there was a serious bug). I also find minor bugs and logic errors in a lot of games I play.

The problem with all these "skills" (even the ones with ticks next to them) is that I'm not brilliant at any of them. I can draw ok, I can program ok, I can compose ok, but I'm not uber-talented super-mario-on-shrooms amazingly wonderful or wonderfully amazing at them.

And even if I got into the industry, what would I do? I couldn't be a concept artist because I'm too vague and the modellers wouldn't know what to do; I couldn't be a matte painter because I can't paint; I couldn't be an art director because compared to most people I know **** all about composition..... Programming wise, being stuck in a cubicle typing code all day every day staring at my Dilbert Desk Calendar would drive me stir-crazy. 3D wise, I have a LOT to learn, and even then I'm not too good at following directions. I think the only thing I'd be able to do and enjoy would be to test the games once they're made - unless of course they're scary!!

Am I just being too picky and placing too many restrictions on myself? Should I learn how to make better 3D, learn art composition, work on my following-directions skills, learn to sit in a cubicle, learn how to play scary games without letting it get to me?
Is the game industry right for me? As far as I can see, it's the only career option I have. I've spent the last six years in bed doing nothing but the following (repeating I know, but this is literally all I've done):

• Playing games, finding bugs in said games, writing walkthroughs for aforementioned games.
• Coding games, administering them (adding things that players request/fixing bugs players find/making sure the players are happy), being as creative as possible to make it as enjoyable as possible.
• Scribbling down ideas for new games.
• Learning different languages to program in.
• Making websites about my games, or games that I've played (I was the leader of the FF9 section on a well-known Final Fantasy website once)
• Drawing!!
• Writing stories about people, places and scenarios I've made up.
• Composing music for my games.
• Watching CG movies like Shrek, Advent Children etc.
• Making origami stars (okay, that has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but since I'm making a list of everything I've done in the last 6 years.....)

Since my brain got wiped there is absolutely NO chance of me getting into the 6 degrees I need to make it to my other dream - I've spent my whole life gearing to be an engineer or doctor and eventually chose on Biomedical Technology Engineering - so my only skills are the ones I've listed above (I can also teach parrots to talk and give therapeutic massages to cats, but again, nothing to do with this topic.....)

My parents like to tell me that there's "still a chance" of the BioMed thing happening but they only say that because they're my parents and they have to try and make me feel better etc. In reality I know my brain is just no longer able to do the sort of things it used to and I'd really struggle in that career. I also have no attention span or memory (as you may have noticed by the way I repeat everything at least three times) and inside my head I'm still only around 13 or 14..... just not good enough for a serious engineering career.

I suppose I'm just going through what ever teenager goes through trying to decide on a path in life.... but since I'm a few years behind most people I'm having this crisis now instead of several years ago. I suppose I'm just worried that when I get better I'm either going to have no chance of getting a job, or end up in a job I hate.