Snow Various-shades-of-grey and the Seven persons of diminutive
stature. Part Four.

The story so far...
Loadsa stuff happened. If you don't know what exactly then what are you doing reading part four huh! Jeez I don't know, some people. They come along moaning and complaining that they don't know what's going on because they haven't bothered to read the first parts and expect me to tell them. Well tough luck. No, I mean it if you're too bone idle to read the first three then I really can't be bothered with you. Go on, clear off. Yeah I mean you. Go on get out of it, sod off. That's better now he's gone I can cont... hang on, are you still here. I said sling your hook. Right now he's gone for real this time we can carry on with the story...

As we know poor Snow fell un... look I told you to get lost didn't I. Come back when you've read the first three instalments. You what? Don't talk to me like that. Right that's it. Excuse me for a minute everyone...

THUNK, CRASH, AARGH NOT THE FACE ! SMASH, CRUNCH, SNAP!! YOU @#*?!!

Right that's him sorted. Where was I? Oh yes. As we know Snow had just fallen unconscious from the poisoned ink on Elviras Big Issue (bless you! thanks!) and was now laying in a heap outside the cottage door. A few hours later the seven undertall persons returned from a long day at the factory.

"Blimey, look it's Snow. What's she doin' down there?"
"Maybe she's just washed the doormat and didn't want us treadin' dirt into the house. So she's layin' down fer us ta tread on." said Dozy scratching his head.
"You daft buggers. She's been knocked out." said Grumpy.
"Told you the doorway was too low for 'er we'll be facin' an insurance claim now." said Doc always thinking of the financial repercussions.
"C'mon lads lets get 'er inside."

The Seven Persons of gravity inflicted vertical trauma gathered around the prone girl and started to move her indoors.

"Lift at the knees boys," said Grumpy, "remember your manual handling training, Beaky, get that back straight."

Once inside they managed to manhandle her up the stairs and into bed.

"Stand back guys, I'm a trained first aider. I'll just loosen her clothing." There was a strange
drooling sound.
"No you don't Titch, We'll call a doctor."
"Can't duh, duh, AAACHOOO! do that, the girls life is in danger. We can't let anyone kn, nuh, nuh, AAACHHOO! know where she is." said Sneezy.
"Good point Sneezy, my not-young mate." said Grumpy wiping the spray from his face. "I wonder what 'appened to her."
"Here Grumps look at this, it was lying on the ground next to her." Mick held up the stack of
magazines.
"Whassat?" asked Dozy.
"Big Issue." replied Sneezy.
"Bless you." said Doc.
"No I mean the magazine is THE BIG ISSUE."
"Oh, maybe the poor girl didn't 'ave any money on 'er." said Doc again thinking of money. "Those habitatally challenged persons can get pretty rough when they need a fix."
"We got some Sellotape in the cupboard. If 'e were that desprit fer a fix she could've gived 'im
that."

There was the mysterious sound of a shovel and a solid consistency head joining together briefly and Dozy decided suddenly to lie on the floor and sleep for a moment.

"Well I think that if it's poison someone should suck it out of 'er." said Titch. "It's dangerous but I'm willing to risk it."

Titch started moving toward the bed again followed by a trail of saliva.

"Back off Titch." said Grumpy holding a shovel above his head. "We'll all take turns too keep
watch on the girl. Except Titch who's gonna go an' find some help."
"Sod it." said Titch as he walked off down stairs.
"Right, Doc you take first shift. Mick, you get the kettle on. I think we need a good strong cup of herbal tea."

Titch was wandering for many hours and it was beginning to get dark in the forest.
He wasn't really sure where he was going but he knew that when he got there he would have
arrived. Titch started to think of the unconscious young girl back at the cottage, wiped his mouth, and decided to think of something else, sheep perhaps. He started to think of fluffy white sheep bouncing through a field. Then he started to drool again. Best stop thinking of sheep he decided. Damn his Welsh ancestry.

Titch wandered for many more hours. It was completely dark and he thought it best to stop and sleep until morning. He was awoken by a sound. The sound of a horse stepping very hard on a diminutive foot.

"AAARRGH! me foot." said Titch.
"NEIGH!" said the horse.
"Gettoffityaanimalofexcessphysicalsize." replied Titch.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there." said the man sitting on the horses back.

The horse reversed and allowed Titch to hobble to his foot. The other clenched firmly in his hands.

"Who the place-of-eternal-damnation're you goin' around parkin' yer 'orse on a blokes foot?"
"I'm The-Ruler-In-line-For-The-Throne formerly known as Prince." replied The-Ruler-In-line-For-
The-Throne formerly known as Prince.

Titch suddenly had an idea.

"'Ere, you know anythin' about poisoned young Princesses on the run?"

To be continued...

In part five:
Is The-Ruler-In-line-For-The-Throne formerly known as Prince any good at saving young poisoned Princesses?
Is his horse illegally parked on a dwarf?
Is this just the most pointless thing you have ever read?
Issywissy lets get busy?
Is this lunacy ever going to end?
Is... Oi, you I thought you'd gone. Come back for some more have you? Right you asked for it,
come here. Don't run away you coward. CRUNCH! AAARGH MY ARM, GETTOFF, HELP
POLICE, CRACK! BEND, TWIST SCRUNCH!